its.. 2014 now. time really really flies. I'm turning 25 soon. And all everything becomes so scary, there's so many decisions to make, so many factor to consider. Your job, your lover, your life, how you spend your money, how you dress yourself up, what to say, what to do everyday, watch your health, take care of this, and that. Even deciding what to eat for lunch feels so tough.
I have this friend, who quit his job, and broke up with his fiancee whom he was with for 8 years, and forfeited his cash on the HDB that they applied together. He seems happy now, feels carefree. I wonder how he really feels. I wish I can experience fully on that feeling. Liberated? Emptiness? such extremities of feelings that one can feel with making just 1 decision makes me feel nauseated.
But i'd like to think he is happy tho, because i want him to. We should all be happy with the decisions that we've made, it is because there's certain reasons that pushes us to make that decision so we should stand by it and believe that we are doing the right thing for ourselves. We cannot undo what we did, but we can move forward to make things better.
So that's what i've been doing i guess. moving forward to make things better.
Half a year as passed.. i think my life is dissected into phases, clear and distinct phases that it almost felt like a spilt personality, or a bipolar, if I may use that analogy of a person. And that's so crazy, it makes me crazy (literally) some times, really. I get confuse with these phases and in each phases there are people who comes in to create that phase of memory with me, and its crazy the people in each phase are so goddamn different.
It just feels like change is the only constant. And that makes me feel very very uneasy.
I wish this phase that i'm experiencing will stay for awhile, because its quite peaceful. and peace is what's lacking in this insane world.
jess.
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