i just cant control my tears everytime i recall. the fear of sleeping.. the nightmare that haunt me. that makes me lose trust in almost all the man in the world. how do you determine how grave is a mistake to forgive or bear? how much pain must it inflict to give you enough courage to leave? and how much courage can it give to embrace you for another love? how forgiving is forgiving? how much more....can i take? how long must i put up a brave front and when can i stop curling in bed and tear silently..to myself? why lust is all what man desires...why...
where are all the love in the world?
is there any left for me? i am forgiving.. i promised to give my trust. i can give him my all.. but i can't pass through my own hurdle. my fear, the tremor, and all those tears.. the tissue box i hug.. and the penguins i cuddle.. tonight, is a night where flashbacks brings me heartaches and stubborn tears.. here, my vision blurred by tears. tears of heartaches, tears of self-destruct. i promised to be strong, for whoever who needs me to smile and cheer them on. i pretend everything's gonna be okay because it might just be placebo and i might just feel okay some how.
but it is never okay, when you are being explored.
blame it on me. blame it all on me.. for i dont learn, until im torn apart. im in bits and pieces,.i was broken, and taped back, and broken, and taped back... now, im just a fragile exhibit that will fall into major shatter by just one touch.
i cry tonight. and i am going to cry myself to sleep.
dont call. dont ask. just read, and watch me smile again tomorrow.
jess.
where are all the love in the world?
is there any left for me? i am forgiving.. i promised to give my trust. i can give him my all.. but i can't pass through my own hurdle. my fear, the tremor, and all those tears.. the tissue box i hug.. and the penguins i cuddle.. tonight, is a night where flashbacks brings me heartaches and stubborn tears.. here, my vision blurred by tears. tears of heartaches, tears of self-destruct. i promised to be strong, for whoever who needs me to smile and cheer them on. i pretend everything's gonna be okay because it might just be placebo and i might just feel okay some how.
but it is never okay, when you are being explored.
blame it on me. blame it all on me.. for i dont learn, until im torn apart. im in bits and pieces,.i was broken, and taped back, and broken, and taped back... now, im just a fragile exhibit that will fall into major shatter by just one touch.
i cry tonight. and i am going to cry myself to sleep.
dont call. dont ask. just read, and watch me smile again tomorrow.
i will be okay. i will.
jess.
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