a long, excruciating pain.

i was sick for 6days. those can't-even-move-an-inch sick. my fever was horrendous and i was in and out of sleep most of the time.. have never felt so weak since...since i knew stuff. it was a long and crazy period and i thought i was in hell, or maybe worst than that. i went to see 3 doctors, 2 clinics and finally visited the hospital. had my jabs and drips.. and it wasn't an instant better i felt, but a relieve. i thought i will die from those high and low fevers and bogus that was bloody. i cried and cried, it was such an awful experience. and i just shut off.

i let my mind wander for a little while, and had strange dreams in those in and out of sleep moments, i mean really strange dreams...i will always wake up with cloths all soaked with cold perspiration, and instantly forget those peculiar dreams i had. what day what date what time? who cares. i lose my focus. i just want to be 'able' again.

and those who stayed by my bed, kudos to them for tolerating my nuisance, ignorance and silent nods. i was in just way beyond pain that my small body can take. im sorry if i ever was a monster during those days.

but being unwell makes me ponder. as i was starting to get well, i start to reflect. about the people that appears in different stages of my life and then disappears after that.. and those that stayed even when im experience hell. these two bunch has alot of differences..

one main difference is those that stayed do not judge you and they stood by you no matter what. and then i realise, they are the ones that truly matters in my life.

now, i know. thanks for staying with me.. (you know who you are)

jess.