its amazing..

..how people can easily walk in and out of your life without feeling any obligations to inform you about anything.
you know, they just act on their own, as if your world is nothing. like a shopping mall.
they loiter around, rummage and ransacked everything inside out and once they got what they need, be it a listening ear or a healing hug, or even just a soothing voice to calm them down, they just walk out of it, contented and happy. like a shopping mall.. you walked out of it, smiling, with all the bags full of stuff you bought.

how amazing people are. unthoughtful and ungrateful. not saying all but with that handful amount of people doing it, it is already an amazement to me.

i often have alot of 'whys' in my head. alot of unsolved issues that are still lying on the shelves waiting for someone, something to unravel for me. wonder who will it be and when.

school's starting next week. and here comes my demons, unleashing after a long hibernation, waiting to devour me pieces by pieces. i'm scared. you know for once in my life, i'm afraid of moving on..

i wanna stay put. i feel as if i have given out my all. and there was nothing left to fuel me through. maybe i cannot stand failure. maybe the fear of failing sends chills and tremors down my spine. maybe im just not cut for it and so many maybes.

it's amazing isn't it? people. us. we. all. you. me.
we're all so amazing. to be able to have so many things in our head and so many things that comes after that. there is never a stop to this.

out fears, our affections, our wants, dreams, and what nots.
come down to the very last bit, it's how amazing you want yourself to be.

and i want to be pretty amazing.

and i hope i can.
and you can too.

jess.