read my broken heart.

i've been telling myself,"hey jess, stop pondering.. there's too many things to cope. why bother about someone who thinks that you're full of yourself and what you did was futile?"

but just when i thought i can, i can't.

it's a long relationship with her. we shared trucks and truck loads of stuff together. she's like.. my sister. man, this is hard.

i just realized that i am pretty adamant about it. no matter how many times i reflect on myself about that incident, i feel that all i did was just to send her back her stuff. and not to make her feel guilty or in any other way. she's someone i treasure.. whenever i hang out, i ask her along. whenever i know im gonna have fun, i drag her out with me. would i do such an evil thing to make her feel awful? i wouldn't even think about it.

i even have a polaroid photo of us in my wallet. even up till now. damn, this suck. seriously.

but no matter how upset i am towards this broken heart of mine, i'm still hoping for a ray of hope. might be minute but worth waiting.

let me wait,

let me look forward,

so there won't be tears,

and there won't be shame.

let me wait.

love,

jess