there should be a word..

for the feeling of disconnection you cultivate when you walk through the streets with your ipod plugged in, sad songs blasting into your ears loudly enough that you can pretend that you're alone. you pass by other people almost without seeing them, since you can't hear them; walking pass shops and offices, going somewhere of maybe not going anywhere at all in particular, feeling the music in your ears is a soundtrack to your sadness. This song makes you think of that person; that song comes very very close to capturing how lonely you are without them. You isolate yourself physically because you feel so isolated inside; surrounded by people, you still feel alone because you have been abandoned by that one person who made you feel somehow less alone.

there should be a word for this..

many times, we got loss for words and we can't express ourselves well because of the lack of vocabularies that allows a smooth delivery of how we feel to someone we love so much. this is where frustrations kicks in real ass hard and you just feel like digging your heart out even if it means dying after doing so. that immerse frustration that may have just kills you because you just couldn't find the proper words to bring something across to a person, and things may just fall apart due to your shortcomings. have you ever felt this way before?

i do. oh well, so much for reading huh..

but to me, feelings and thoughts in your heart and soul just cant be decipher simply by language some times. language is a tool, but its not handy all the time. i'd rather let silence do the talking of my thoughts, and my hugs deliver my deepest feelings. but if i have to speak, i'll always try.

the year is coming to an end, very soon i'll sit down and collate my year, and jolt it down here.. the people that comes and go, the events that has happened, the emotions and decisions that ive made, how another year passed with a blink of an eye, and how amazing this year has made me grow, and discovered so much about myself that i never once knew was in me all along.

and there should be a word for this as well.

jess.